Susan's Big Adventure Continued...

Meet My Plastic Surgeon

2012-02-07T23:00:00.002-07:00

Just had a whirlwind trip to Salt Lake City for another "expansion" (aka "inflation"). I will have one more on Feb. 24 before my reconstruction surgery on March 12.

I found this video of my plastic surgeon, Dr Jay Agarwal, on the Huntsman Cancer Institute website. It is SO informative, but you have to be really interested in reconstruction surgery to watch the entire 32 minutes. However, even if you just watch a few minutes of it, you will get to see why I like this doctor so much!

Following is the link to copy and paste into your browser:

http://www.huntsmancancer.org/index.php?tmpl=component&option=com_jedirectory&view=lightbox_dis&itemid=305&f_type=4&vimeolink=1&Itemid=99&f_name=aHR0cDovL3ZpbWVvLmNvbS8yMzA0NjYxMA%3D%3D&video_w=600&video_h=450

Inflation con't

2012-01-22T13:09:00.002-07:00

A beautiful sunny, blue sky day here in Montana. Got a little snow, but need more. But it sure is pretty!

I was at Huntsman on Friday morning, Jan. 20 for 2 appointments. First with my plastic surgeon for another "inflation," and lots of questions, which he answered. I will have 2 more inflations before my March 12 surgery. So far, so good.Stretch, stretch, stretch that skin!

Then I met with the Family Cancer Assessment Clinic about the BRCA1 and BRCA2 test. I had filled out all the family history papers this past week and sent them in. The BRCA test is a genetic test to see if there is a genetic mutation that has caused my breast cancer. My sister, who also had breast cancer, had this test and it was negative for her. But my oncologist wanted me to have it to see if it might be positive for me. After going over all of my family history, the Clinic decided that my risk of being positive is so low that it really was not necessary to have the test. Fine with me!

I also got the results of another test I took. It is called the Oncotype DX test. It measures a panel of 21 genes taken from my cancer tissue, and looks at this group of genes to see how active they are, which can influence how a cancer is likely to grow and respond to treatment. A genomic test (oncotype dx) is different from the genetic BRCA test. The genetic BRCA test looks for mutations (unusual changes) in genes that are inherited, or passed from one generation to the next, whereas the Oncotype DX test looks at cells that might be behaving abnormally, which can often be traced back to unusual activity by certain genes.

Looking at this set of 21 genes can provide specific information on: how likely (or unlikely) my breast cancer is to come back; and predicts the likelihood of benefit to me from chemotherapy treatment.

Based on this analysis, Oncotype DX assigns a breast cancer Recurrence Score, which is a number between 0 and 100 that corresponds to a specific likelihood of experiencing breast cancer recurrence within 10 years of my initial diagnosis. The lower your score, the less likely the cancer is to recur. The higher the score, the more likely the cancer is to recur.

So my breast cancer recurrence score was 15, which translates into a 9% average rate of distant recurrence within 10 years. A Recurrence Score lower than 18 suggests that I have a low risk of recurrence. The benefit of chemotherapy is likely to be small and will not outweigh the risks of side effects.

Good News! That's all well and good, and I am happy about these results. But what about my first cancer and the fact that I DID go through chemotherapy already? Guess I will never know, since the Oncotype DX test is pretty new, and I didn't have it the first time around. Although the results of this test are good, I still don't put a lot of faith in statistics and tests, especially since there was only a population of less than 700 women in this study. And especially since I was told that my risk of having recurrent breast cancer was pretty low anyway, and look what I got!

Sorry for the long entry, and this is probably MORE than anyone wants to know. But it IS pretty interesting what new things are happening in cancer research, even if I AM a bit cynical… . Happy January!

Inflation....

2012-01-09T16:10:00.001-07:00

In Salt Lake last Friday I started my first "inflation" (i.e. part of the reconstruction process) as the adorable, gentle, plastic surgeon (yes, he is the most adorable, nice, doctor I've ever met!) shot me with 30 ml of saline solution to each tissue expander in each boob. 30 ml is approximately 0.126 cups, or about 1/8 of a cup. I've gotten all sorts of stories that it would hurt, would feel tight, etc etc etc. I couldn't even feel it, and it doesn't feel any differently than it did before I had it. So much for listening to everyone else.

I go back on January 20 to do it again, and maybe one more time after that. I have chosen to have smaller boobs than my originals, so it won't take much "expanding!"

We set a date of March 12 for my next big surgery, which will be when they rebuild my right breast (the one that had radiation) with tissue, muscle and blood vessels from my back. Due to the fact that radiated breasts have damaged skin, you need to use your own skin, etc from another part of your body for the reconstruction. Pretty amazing process, but I am NOT looking forward to it, no matter how amazing it is. They did tell me, however, that I have gone through the WORST of it all (the bilateral mastectomy, which I can attest to, was more difficult than even I expected it would be…), and that this won't be as long to recover from, and I'll only have 3 grenade drains instead of 4. Like that is something that should make me feel better…?

Speaking of "so much for listening to everyone else." I am now going to have a BRCA1 and BRCA2 test, for the specific purpose of how genetics can impact family cancer risks. My sister had one, and it was negative. Hopefully mine will be too. There's another test that they want me to do, but I will leave that for separate blog entry at a future date. This is all such a crapshoot, and the statistics that they have thrown at me for the past 5 years have all turned out to be wrong. Every question I ask, I never get a definitive answer, and I don't care how many degrees and letters behind someone's name (sorry if I have offended anyone, but I really don't care), no one seems to know much of anything when it comes to cancer…, even with all the "advances" that we are told about.

So here is what it all comes down to, and I have to keep telling myself this, over and over again:

Don't take life too seriously. No one gets out alive anyway.

To Salt Lake City

2012-01-04T13:05:00.003-07:00

This afternoon I am flying to Salt Lake for appointments on Thursday and Friday at Huntsman with my surgeon, plastic surgeon, and oncologist. I should know more answers to questions by the time I return late Friday night (like what my schedule will be over the next few months).

On Monday the last two drains came out, and I am a NEW person. I can actually tuck my shirt into my pants, don't have tubes hanging out of my sides and grenades hanging from safety pins on the front of my t-shirt. Three weeks of that got pretty old.

However, the tissue expanders that were put in right after the mastectomies feel like I have a very uncomfortable underwire bra attached inside my chest. I never wore underwire bras in the first place. I'm afraid that these will be with me (for the purpose of expansion)for quite some time.

Will be back here with real information after my return from Salt Lake!

Good Things This Week

2011-12-29T12:05:00.002-07:00

OK, I have to keep looking at the good things that have happened this week:

- I am now able to feed my horses again. I've missed having hands-on contact with them. I really appreciate and thank everyone who has helped me feed them since my surgery;

- So many of my neighbors have brought me soup and other goodies. Thank you! Thank you!;

- The 3rd grenade drain is almost ready to come out. Oh happy day. Then only one more to go;

- So many people, who know me well, have been encouraging me to be PATIENT and to REST. And I've actually listened to them (difficult as it may be for me to sit still);

- Happy New Year, and to everyone reading this, you've all been very special in my life.

2 Down, 2 To Go

2011-12-23T10:47:00.007-07:00

Last night 2 of my grenade-drains came out, so I am feeling 2 times as good and much lighter today! Actually, I am finally feeling better, probably because I am getting weaned from the pain meds and my head is a lot more clear. I talked to my plastic surgeon's nurse in Salt Lake this morning, and she said that normally, this is about the time that I "should" start feeling better. Yea! Just in time for Christmas. I've been rather bah hum bug, but am actually going to a Christmas Eve party, which will be fun, especially since I can also bring my dog so that he can play with his doggie friends there.

I've been getting some very novel and thoughtful gifts, and this one made me laugh more than I have laughed since surgery. It's a handmade nightshirt that I will definitely take with me to Salt Lake when I return on Jan. 5

Merry Christmas everyone! Here's to LIFE, LOVE and APPRECIATION for all that we have in this mixed up, crazy world of ours.

"Hanging" in....

2011-12-21T11:38:00.002-07:00

Well, that's about how I feel at the moment. With 4 grenade-size drain bottles "hanging" from me, I feel that in "sacrificing the coconuts," I have traded them off for plastic ornaments for the holidays. Hopefully 2 of them will be gone by this weekend, and then the other 2 by next week. I return to Huntsman on January 5 and 6 for appointments with the 2 surgeons, and to begin "inflating" the tissue expanders that were put in after the mastectomy.

Am still on pain pills, and antibiotics. The pain pills make me a bit loopy, but they sure help!

It's really pretty today, as it snowed more last night.

Thanks everyone for your wishes, cards, prayers, and everything else that you have sent to me as I recover. Will be in touch again before Christmas.

home again, home again...

2011-12-18T00:33:00.002-07:00

After brunch with my sister and family this morning in Salt Lake, we drove back to Bozeman and arrived home at 8:30 pm. The kitties were so happy! Won't get Scout till Monday,after I figure out how to do everything at home and not be tripping over an 80 pound dog! And, he has been with friends who also have a wire-haired pointing griffon, and he is learning a few things about bird hunting and pointing. Their female griffon is also named Scout, so we call them Girl Scout and Boy Scout. Pretty cute... .

More tomorrow, but need to go to bed now as the 8 hour drive today wore me out.

Thank you all for your kind emails, comments, and support. This surgery was a bit "more" than I was anticipating
XO
Susan

Escaped

2011-12-15T07:52:00.002-07:00

Last night I escaped from the hospital to the comfort of the hotel room at the University Guest House, and I actually slept through the night.They took VERY good care of me at Huntsman, but now that I no longer have to be tethered to antibiotics, morphine, oxygen, and oxygen saturation monitor, I could be released. Am planning a party in my room tonight, so if anyone wants to fly in I'll send a limo to the airport....

Best thing is that I got to take a shower and wash my hair last night. Trying to get my nephew to sneak in his dog so I can play with an animal too! Also had order-in Thai food for dinner. Yum.

Aside from 4 rather large drains hanging from me, I seem to be doing a lot better each day as the anesthetic leaches out of me.
Love everyone's emails, jokes, and more. Thank you, thank you!
Love,
Susan

Wednesday

2011-12-14T12:19:00.002-07:00

They just took away my morphine.OMG.Unhooked from my lifeline,but am getting pain pills instead, which last longer. Also just ran a marathon around the hospital floor, did 5 sets of push-ups on the floor near my bed, and 10 minutes on the stair stepper. And if you believe this, well then, you are in a morphine deluded state more than I am!

Looks like I will be in the hospital for a 3rd night, but the decision will be made later in the afternoon, when they see if I can keep my lunch down! Now it's nappy time.

Nighty nite,
S.

Still groggy and HUNGRY

2011-12-13T17:08:00.002-07:00

Hello world,
Still hooked up to morphine, but doing better today, in many ways. Not sure I will be leaving the hospital tomorrow because I can't seem to keep down much food except crackers and applesauce, and jello too. Yahoo. Not used to being THIS incapacitated, that's for sure.

Everyone here at Huntsman is SO wonderful. I wish everyone could have hospital care like this; it's pretty awesome!

Adios for tonight...thanks to everyone for all your thoughts, prayers, well-wishes and love...it's keeping me going.

Until tomorrow,
Susan

Groggy & Thirsty and Alive!

2011-12-12T16:31:00.000-07:00

Susan is out of recovery in her room at the most amazing hospital I have ever set foot in. Everyone here is so competent and kind.

Anyway, she is munching on ice chips and drinking lemon water and starving (not quite ready to eat yet, though) in between nodding off.

More later...

She's in recovery

2011-12-12T14:30:00.000-07:00

Anesthesiologist just came out to inform us that Susan sailed through surgery and is now in recovery. Quote: "Strangely enough, when you operate on healthy, active people, they seem to do really well in surgery."
It'll be about an hour before anyone can see her, and will post more then.

Half way through surgery...

2011-12-12T13:10:00.000-07:00

and doing well...
Here are some photos that Susan's sister, Jane, emailed me today to post on this blog. What a cutie! Is it really any wonder she was the original Adventure Woman?

Funny!

2011-12-09T18:45:00.001-07:00

Sometimes you have to sacrifice the coconuts...

2011-12-07T12:34:00.005-07:00

Pre-surgery week:
Last night my wonderful neighbors and friends, who are also my horseback riding and ski buddies, had a party for me. Along with their husbands, we all enjoyed great food, wine, conversation, jokes, and even presents! WOW, thank you!

I'd like to call it my "bye bye boobs" party, even though no one actually said that. After all, it is kind of awkward for others to address what I am going to be having on Monday -- a bilateral mastectomy. I've joked with a few people this week that I'm having "breast reduction" surgery, which might actually sound better than saying "bilateral mastectomy" surgery. My CPA in Chicago said it sounded like a "sale on boobs." Oh well.

I think that the best description so far came from my ex-husband, Kevin, in an email yesterday. He said, that ..." sometimes you have to sacrifice the coconuts to save the tree... ."

My good friend Rebecca Hintze will be driving with me to Salt Lake City and staying with me for the entire time there. WOW, can I ask for any better person to be doing this for me?! As a Physician Assistant, she probably knows more about any of this than the doctors. And, she'll take good care of me too, in addition to my family who lives in Salt Lake. I've rented us a hotel room nearby the hospital, however, since after I come out of the hospital I'll be having to go there at least once a day, and it's close to Huntsman.

The plastic surgeon who will be starting reconstruction immediately after my breasts are "sacrificed" comes highly recommended. He is a hand surgeon and a breast reconstruction surgeon. I need to make sure to let him know, however, that I don't want any hand(s) attached -- just new breasts.

Spending this week getting everything in order, like animal sitting, office things, etc etc. Am having a massage and a once-a-year pedicure tomorrow (after all, I want my toes to look nice during surgery).

I'll be checking in with everyone through this blog, and maybe Rebecca will post something on Monday or Tuesday when I am unable to.

Send me good vibes on Monday!

SHIT - It's back

2011-12-01T21:45:00.003-07:00

I sure didn't think I'd be back writing in this damn cancer blog again, 3 years later, but here I am. My breast cancer has returned (or reoccured), and this time there's not going to be just a lumpectomy, with chemotherapy and radiation. Now it's going to be a bilateral mastectomy, with reconstruction. Let's just get rid of it all, both boobs, so I don't have to have any more digital mammograms and MRI's each year.

Jeez, WHAT was all the chemo and radiation about?? It's taken me 3 years to get back to my "new normal" and here we go again. Actually, the best part of this is that I do NOT have to go through chemo again. I think I can handle surgery better than my brain being fried. The worst part is that I will miss ski season this winter, and most likely my favorite trip to the British Virgin Islands.

Surgery is scheduled for December 12 at Huntsman Cancer Institute in Salt Lake City. I should be there about a week. Will keep this blog updated, and let everyone know when I have another entry.

One Year Follow-Up at Huntsman Cancer Institute

2010-07-16T21:17:00.009-06:00

It's been SO long since I have posted anything. Can't believe it! But at least now I have some really good news to report. I had my one year follow-up at Huntsman Cancer Institute in Salt Lake City this past Monday, and after a mammogram, MRI, and bloodwork, I was given a clean bill of health. Yahoo!

Had a difficult year on Arimidex, the aromotase inhibitor that I was supposed to be taking for the next 5 years after finishing chemo and radiation. It attempts to take away all the REST of the estrogen in one's body. What fun. But it caused pretty bad side effects in me, and I always felt really tired. The worst part was that my bones and muscles ached so badly that I could hardly get out of bed in the morning. Is this the way to live one's life for the next 5 years?? Asked my doctors if I could go off it and they said no. So the next time I didn't ask, and wrote them all an email to tell them that I WAS going off it. Period. Quality of life, you know!?

So I switched to Tamoxifen and feel so much better. Have lots of hot flashes (a side effect of this drug), but hot flashes pale in comparison to what I felt on Arimidex. I can handle hot flashes.

Summer has finally come to Montana. Up until the middle of June it was still snowing here, and we had a REALLY long winter. So I am taking advantage of our short summers and trying to ride my horses and go kayaking on the rivers, at least once a week, in between working. Took my puppy, Scout, (11months old now)riding today with 5 other horses. It was only his second time out riding with me. Since Konya died last September in a horse accident, I've been a little anxious to introduce Scout to trail riding. But he was just great today, and it was fun to see him have so much fun.

Took an AdventureWomen group to Kenya in June. Ah, East Africa and the Northern Serengeti, one of my very very favorite places on earth (besides Montana).

And over July 4th weekend, had a Pasimeni family reunion in Montana. We had a wonderful time here, and it was really special to have my family all together at my house. In the photos you can also see how big Houdi and Scout have gotten!

A New Family Member

2010-01-28T19:02:00.006-07:00

Who Knew??!! That we would have another new member of the family here at 300 Running Horse Trail!

After Konya died in September, a family of feral/barn cats showed up in my hay barn. It was a black mother cat and 3 newborn kitties. Not sure she gave birth to them in the hay, or brought them to the barn after giving birth somewhere else. I always wanted to have barn cats to keep my mouse and vole population down, and I decided to start feeding them so they might stay around.

In October I went to Egypt and Jordan. When I returned, my neighbor, Alana, who takes care of my horses when I am gone, told me that one night a pack of coyotes came through, and she thought all the cats had been killed. A week later, I noticed one of the kittens was still there, so I kept feeding it. It would never let me get close, but was curious and really cute! A tuxedo cat, with pretty white markings on its black coat.

The temperatures in December were brutal. 30 below zero for some time. But the cat was still there, and I figured it was a real survivor. So I decided that I would try to trap it and get it neutered/spayed. Doing this would help ensure that it might stay living in the barn and nearby, and not go wandering too far to find a mate, and get eaten by an owl, coyote, wolf, fox, or whatever.

I made a deal with a great local vet to neuter/spay it for $50, no matter what the sex was. I got a “live trap” from Fish and Game, and spent a week trying to lure it inside the trap. Each morning I would go out and find the trap closed, but no cat inside. After a while, I started thinking of the cat as the magician “Houdini” since it seemed to disappear through the walls of the trap. I finally took the trap back and got another, bigger one. But the cat was wise to traps, and as hard as I tried, it never went inside the second trap, no matter how tasty the food was that I put there.

Last Friday morning, January 22, I was going to take the trap back to Fish and Game and admit defeat by a smart cat, when lo and behold I opened the hay room door and there was the kitty, inside the trap! Problem was that the vet was only open Mondays through Thursdays, and it was a Friday morning.

I built a large wire cage inside my house and brought the kitty inside. I put a small cage lined with warm blankets inside the large cage, along with a litter box, water, and food. I put on leather garden gloves and my heavy ski jacket, so that the cat couldn’t bite me. When I picked up the cat, it started purring, snuggled into my arms, and let me pet it for the entire weekend! It was the first time it had any human contact since it was born (5 ½ months ago), and was the most gentle, loving, and affectionate cat I had ever held. And, it was a BOY. I named it Houdini – Houdie for short.

This Monday I took Houdi to the vet and had him neutered. The vet also gave him rabies, distemper and a test for feline leukemia, which was negative. She told me that this was one of the most wonderful and friendly feral kittens she had ever held, and that I should keep it as a pet and not return it to being a feral cat. I was amazed that she didn’t tell me to let it go back outside, but outdoor cats here don’t have very long lives.

So here he is. Houdi! He just spent the day on my desk, sleeping and getting petted about every five minutes, by Lori (who is AdventureWomen’s office manager) or me. Kalawa, my other cat, isn’t too happy about this, but Scout likes to lick Houdi, and I am hoping that they will become fast friends.

I guess the moral of this story is that you never know who is going to pick you to be their friend. Houdi picked us to be his new friends, and has decided that he likes it just fine inside, in warm blankets, and with friends who want to cuddle, pet, lick (Scout does that, not me), and feed him. We’ll see how all of this progresses, and in the long run, if he really DOES want to live with us. Stay tuned!

Oh, by the way, my January 3-month cancer follow-up turned out fine. Anyway, it's more fun to talk about the animals!

Merry Christmas, Love, and Happy New Year

2009-12-19T13:50:00.003-07:00

I'm going to quote my dear friend, Marilyn Munsterman, and what she wrote in her Christmas card to me: "A new puppy is really one of the great images of Christmas. I am sure the world looks very different than it did a year ago.

WOW, "Santa" Marilyn, you are right about THAT! At this time last year I was thankful that I was 4/5 through chemotherapy, and this year I am thankful that it's all over. And I have a new puppy..., and all is good.

For my Christmas greeting photo, I tried to get Scout to wear his matching hat. As you can see, it didn't happen.

I hope that all is good in your lives too. Many blessings to everyone.

Egypt, Jordan, and Scout!

2009-12-02T19:30:00.014-07:00

It's been awhile since I have written in my blog! Lots has happened, and I've been everywhere from Egypt and Jordan to North Dakota. Soon after Konya died in late September, I went on my AdventureWomen Egypt and Jordan trip. It was good timing, as going away always helps to gain back my perspective. I had planned to go on this trip last year, but a little distraction like cancer and chemotherapy kept me home. The last time I was in Egypt was a dozen years ago, and I had not yet been to Jordan (one of the reasons I set up this trip!). Egypt was as amazing this time around as the last time, and Jordan was fabulous. And I love camels, so here I am on a camel at the Pyramids in Egypt, and then in front of the magnificent Treasury building in the rose-red city of Petra, one of the new 7 Wonders of the World.

Our wonderful Egyptologist kept us enthralled and made the history of Egypt come alive. Our boat on the Nile was super-luxurious, the food and hotels were to die for, and all the temples and tombs and cultural treasures are beyond description - like being in a vast outdoor museum, one incredible experience after another - monuments to astonishing ancient civilizations.

And Jordan's fabled Petra is a site right out of an archeologist's dream (and the famous backdrop for Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade!). We rode horses to the canyon that protects the city in all directions, and opens up to a city carved from solid red sandstone in the 3rd century BC. There also was the Roman city of Jerash, great Crusader castles, and Lawrence of Arabia's incredible desert of Wadi Rum. Ending up at a deluxe Dead Sea resort, with a view of Jerusalem across the water, was the perfect ending for the perfect trip.

Coming back to Bozeman, I got on a plane the next week and flew to Fargo, North Dakota to pick up my new puppy, Scout. A Wirehaired Pointing Griffon, like Konya, I got to meet Scout's mother and father, and the wonderful family who is the breeder for these dogs. I brought Scout home on Halloween on the plane, and he sat on the seat next to me like the perfect 10 week-old gentleman puppy. Here are some photos of him when he was 10 weeks old.

And now he is 14 weeks old, and we just finished Puppy 1 class, where he was a star (don't all owners say that!?). We are on to Puppy 2 at the end of December, and we are having lots of fun despite sharp little alligator teeth and the inevitable and often trying housebreaking experience. Kalawa the cat has been in the closet (literally) for a few weeks, but she has now decided to come out because she knows Scout just wants to lick her, not bite her. So all is going well. And it is wonderful to have a dog again.

It's that time of the year to give thanks. I am celebrating the fact that I am finished with chemo and radiation, and doing well. I have a new puppy, wonderful friends and family, and I still have a business (challenging as it is, these days...). Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all, with love.

Worse Than Having Cancer

2009-09-21T20:54:00.006-06:00

On Sunday night, September 20, my dog Konya died. Only 7 years old, he was my best friend, constant companion, giver of unconditional love, and a sweet, sweet boy. We were attached at the hip, if you really want to know the truth. He loved my 2 horses (I called him my “third” horse), and most of all, he loved being my “scout” on every horseback ride. If I had to pick going through chemo and radiation again, or losing my dog, I would rather go through cancer treatment. To say the very least…, I am heartbroken. Here’s a picture of me and Konya (when I had brown and longer hair!), and a picture of us on a recent ride in the mountains.

This was all very sudden. On a ride last Sunday, he abruptly stopped in front of my horse. She ran into him, but he came tumbling out, and it didn’t look or sound serious. He just yelped and kept going with us for 2 hours, with no obvious pain or limp. But the next day his back left leg was dangling, and the vet diagnosed that he tore his ACL, and we scheduled surgery. His leg swelled up in the next 2 days, he went back to the vet, and had developed a hemotoma on that leg. By the end of the week he seemed better, so he came with Rebecca and me on a camping trip to Cody on Saturday, to celebrate my birthday. We all agreed that the best “medicine” was being in our care and with us in the car (where he loved to be). We had a great time driving through Yellowstone, and Konya loved getting out to drink water and take very small walks with us. Here we are in Yellowstone on Saturday afternoon, Konya with both me and Rebecca.

After setting up the site, and with Konya in his bed on the ground, he got up and fell out of his bed. His right leg looked broken, and he was in great pain. It was difficult to diagnose what was wrong, so we packed up and drove 4 ½ hours back to Bozeman and the emergency trauma vet center. Rebecca drove and I held him, with an ice pack on his leg. He was in pain and very agitated. We got to the vet a little after midnight and he was put on an IV and strong pain meds. They were optimistic that he would be better in the morning as he was re-hydrated. But he got worse, not better, and in less than 24 hours he was having multiple organ disfunction, each organ shutting down one by one. The vets determined that he had had a stroke when he fell out of his bed, which was why his right leg lost function, and he was now throwing blood clots all over his body and brain. He was dying, and in pain, and I held and talked to him as the vet put him to sleep forever.

All 3 vets who took care of him were totally dumbfounded, and agreed that we all had done everything that we could do for him. What I believe is that he knew that he could never live the life he loved if he couldn’t joyfully run and jump like a beautiful deer… the way he always did, with his beloved horses and loving human friends.

Here are some photos of him doing all the things he loved to do, and being with his animal and human friends. We all love him and will miss him terribly, but I know that he is free now.

2nd 3-Month Follow Up and Konya

2009-09-18T17:25:00.003-06:00

It's been a while since I have posted anything! So here goes.

On Monday I had my 2nd 3-month follow up, here in Montana. Everything looked good, except my cholesterol. And that's because when I started taking arimidex in April, I decided to do a little "experiment" and go off my lipitor, just to see what would happen (felt I was taking too many drugs, and I wanted to see what the arimidex effects were without mixing it up with lipitor). It sounded like a good idea at the time, and until this week, I thought my cholesterol was pretty good (did a few home cholesterol tests...).

First thing the doctor said to me when he walked into the room was "What's up with your cholesterol and triglycerides? (They are 303 and 222 respectively). End of experiment. Now I'm back on zocor instead of lipitor (big price difference).

Arimidex has been giving me some nasty side effects. My body and joints are always achey-breaky, and I am pretty tired. The doctor assured me that the tiredness comes from the post-effects of all the chemo and radiation, but the achey-breaky is definitely arimidex. When I take tylenol it's not so bad. Advil doesn't do a thing. So I will continue and see what's up at my next 3-month follow up in December.

Pictures above are from a birthday horseback ride that 4 of us did this week. My friend Lorraine (in the picture with me)also has the same birthday as I do, but she's 3 years younger. Those are cupcakes with candles on them on the grill. We had a super picnic, and then rode home.

The other picture is of my best friend, Konya, laying on his sheepskin rug in the bedroom (next to some New Guinea art that I brought home, but just haven't had the time to hang yet). He tore his ACL on a horseback ride last weekend when he suddenly stopped in front of my horse and she ran over him. He also has a huge hematoma on his leg, and it is very swollen now. He is on lots of drugs, cold packs 3X a day, and lots of tender loving care. He will be operated on in October. Boo hoo. It is SO difficult to see such an active dog in such pain. He is such a sweet boy.

Happy Fall, everyone! It won't be long before it's my favorite holiday again, and Konya and I may dress up in Halloween costumes like we did last year!

Why I Live in Montana

2009-08-02T13:30:00.003-06:00

On Thursday a group of friends and I rode up into the Bridger Mountains (which you can see from my house)to the saddle of Ross Peak. Here is my Icelandic horse, Darri, with my dog, Konya, behind me.

Can it get any better than this!!??

Finally... Raft Photos!

2009-07-31T22:57:00.004-06:00

I know I said I would get some raft pictures up in early July, but somehow the time just goes by too quickly! Here are a few photos, from top to bottom, and left to right: fun in the rapids, sister Jane celebrating, Susan and Adventure Puff, and a white tablecloth gourmet dinner. Fabulous trip, and the first one I went on after finishing all my treatments. It was INDEED, a treat!

First Good News in Two Years!!

2009-07-04T16:23:00.003-06:00

Hi Everyone and Happy Independence Day!
After our new, fabulously adventurous and luxurious raft trip on the Colorado River through Cataract Canyon, Utah, I spent the day after the trip at the Huntsman Cancer Institute in Salt Lake City for my 3 month (and one year MRI and digital mammogram) follow-up. The good news is that all my tests turned out great! Needless to say, I am very happy about this (to say the least).

Now I have to go for 3 month follow-up check-ups for two years. I'll do 3 of my quarterly check-ups here in Montana, and then each June-July I'll do the big tests (MRI, mammograms, blood tests, etc). at Huntsman in Salt Lake. So everything is definitely going in the right direction now.

I am going out to a BBQ right now, but will put up some photos of our exciting raft trip by Monday. So check back in a day or two, and you'll see photos from a very unique, and our first, LUXURY raft trip.

Back from Papua New Guinea!

2009-05-22T11:13:00.006-06:00

WOW! What a FABULOUS trip! It was worth all 2 years of planning, and everything came off without a hitch. Although I had a very small group (6 of us), the women on this trip were my very loyal repeat clients, and they are ALL wonderful to be with. Stress-free traveling.

It’s hard to come home to “this world.” I am not sure which is the “real” world. Here, or there. Life is so simple there. Just like when I lived in Africa as a Peace Corps Volunteer.

So my life is feeling extremely surreal at the moment. It seems that everything I went through before traveling to Papua New Guinea (8 months of chemo and radiation) is a blurry dream. Going to places like Africa and PNG does that to me anyway, but this time it seems magnified, big time. Makes me want to turn around and go back, so I don't have to deal with all the stresses and realities of THIS life. But that is not reality, is it?!

Now that I’ve finished with chemo and radiation, there seems to be a true “let down.” I’ve spent the last 8 months fighting to get through all of this, fighting to stay well, and being encouraged with so much enthusiasm, positiveness, and love, by doctors, friends, family and everyone who kept up with my blog. All of a sudden this has stopped, and now it’s just me.

I have 3 month follow-ups for 2 years. This may actually be the most stressful thing I’ve done in the last year! My next MRI and other tests are at Huntsman Cancer Institute on June 29, on my way back from my AdventureWomen whitewater raft trip on the Colorado River through Cataract Canyon in Utah.

But I have to say that the BEST thing that is happening to me right now is that my eyelashes and eyebrows have grown in, and my hair has grown too. It grew very fast in Papua because it was hot and humid (vs dry and cold in Montana). You can tell me that this has nothing to do with how fast hair grows, but I won’t believe you at all. Hot and humid is DEFINITELY conducive to faster hair growth! It’s not brown anymore, but white and black. Everyone tells me that it looks great, so I am considering keeping it very short from now on. Joe, my hairdresser, actually trimmed the side and back last week, so that it is now all the same length! Here are a few photos of the Papua New Guinea/Australia Barrier Reef trip.

The End...and a New Beginning

2009-04-05T17:14:00.013-06:00

On Thursday, April 2, I had my last radiation treatment, which concluded 5 months of chemotherapy and 33 sessions of radiation. Lori Booth, my office manager, took this picture so that you could see my hair growing back!

I had a great party/celebration at Plonk Wine Bar in downtown Bozeman, to thank all the friends who helped me so much during this time. I wish that EVERYONE, from all over the globe, who supported me throughout my treatments, could have been "transported" (you know, like "beam me up, Scottie...")! to be there too. All the emails, cards, phone calls, and caring thoughts and prayers, from all of you, have been lovingly appreciated..., more than you will ever know.

Now it's on to 3 month follow-ups for 2 years, with my next MRI in Salt Lake at the Huntsman Cancer Institute, in June. I'll keep my blog open, to send follow-ups and more... .

But for now, here's something that I'd like to use as a guide for the rest of my life:

"In the end what matters most is
How well did you live
How well did you love
How well did you learn to let go"

What IS It??

2009-03-20T21:28:00.005-06:00

So what's this? A necklace, or a new brooch? No... it's my portocath, that was removed last Monday! Pretty cool, huh!? Heck, I just MIGHT make a piece of jewelry out of it!

What's a portocath, you ask. It was implanted under the skin in my chest when I had a lumpectomy last August. It acted as the access point for intravenous chemotherapy injections I got for 5 months, from September through January. The white tube is an artificial vein that was threaded from the portocath up and into a large vein by my collarbone. Instead of getting stuck with needles in my arm for 5 months, the portocath was a great way to save my veins!

I only have 9 more radiation sessions to go (out of 33). The end is getting near!

Blog, Blog, Blog, Blog, Blaaaaa

2009-03-14T20:33:00.004-06:00

19 radiation sessions down, and only 14 to go!! Yahoo.

As you can see, my horses really don't care. List is giving me a "raspberry". Konya is bringing in both List and Darri on a beautiful snowy evening. And all is well in Montana.

P.S. Great news! My eyelashes and eyebrows are growing back!

What I Look Like in a Huli Wig....

2009-03-02T16:40:00.010-07:00

In response to my March 1 entry (below), my good friend Ralph Hammelbacher, who has also been to New Guinea, sent the following photo and note to me: "Susan, I love the idea of a Huli wig! I know you're really curious as to how it will look, so here's a sneak preview."

Thanks, Ralph! You're such a dear. I've decided that I'll wait for my real hair to grow!

Spring on the Horizon? 9 Down/24 to Go, Before I Leave for Papua New Guinea

2009-03-01T13:19:00.008-07:00

Although Spring (March 20) may be on the horizon for much of the country, we in Montana find that March 20 is only a "tease." The reality is that "Spring" in Montana doesn't normally arrive until May or even June. Today is a "tease." It's almost 50 degrees, but we just got 13 inches of snow on Thursday. It's great skiing, however!

What IS on the horizon for me is the end of radiation in early April. THAT is better than the thought of Spring! I have 9 radiation treatments down, and 24 to go - for a total of 33. I go to Bozeman Hospital every morning during the week. It should all end on April 2, and then I leave for AdventureWomen's Papua New Guinea trip on April 16. I've been thinking that maybe I'll ask the Huli Wigmen tribe to make me a wig (see a Huli Wigmen, above photo, left side), because my hair sure isn't growing fast! The Huli revere birds by imitating them in both daily and ceremonial life, and by decorating their human hair wigs with the plumage of only the most beautiful birds. I took the photo of the 3 kids (on the right) a LONG time ago, on our first trip to Irian Jaya, New Guinea. I like the feathers on the middle boy, but not sure about this wig style for me... . Hmmm.

As far as radiation progress, so far, so good. I haven't had any problems yet. It's important to make sure to put lots of cream and moisturizer on all areas of my body that are being radiated. So I've made myself a special mixture of Bag Balm and Aloe Vera gel. Bag Balm was originally made for use on cows udders, to keep them from becoming chapped. And Aloe Vera is good for burns. So what better combination for radiated boobs! When I am finished with radiation, maybe I'll make my fortune by selling this secret recipe.

The END of Chemo and My Mexico Celebratory Trip

2009-02-15T16:50:00.010-07:00

I am more than happy to say that I finished 5 months of chemotherapy on January 26, and after skiing with my AdventureWomen downhill ski group that week (only half days, not full days), I left for a horseback riding trip in Mexico's Sierra Madres on January 31. And it was a wonderful celebration, as you can see by the above photos. The hacienda was deluxe, the food and drink marvelous, and the horses, scenery, and riding was just spectacular. With only 4 of us there, we had lots of special attention. The trip was a circle ride of about 130 miles, and we left the horses at a different place each night. We were driven back to the hacienda after riding, and then taken back to the horses each morning. Riding was from 6-8 hours a day, and boy did I sleep. At least 10 hours a night! By the end of the week I was feeling pretty normal again (well, sort of... ), after not having chemo for 2 weeks.

Other than being tired, the weird thing was that by my last 2 chemo treatments, the bottoms of my feet were tingling and numb. That did not go away during the week, and I still have it now. All throughout chemo, my doctor kept asking me if I felt any tingling or numbness in my hands or feet, and up till the last few treatments, I did not. It was a little disconcerting to be riding a horse with numb feet, but it didn't seem to curb my enthusiasm for being out on the trails in a spectacular environment!! Matter of fact, I felt better riding the horse than I did when I had to get down and "just walk"!

This Tuesday, February 17, I begin 6 weeks of radiation, once a day for 33 sessions. So I do see the light at the end of the tunnel, which will be the beginning of April!

Thank you again to everyone for your continuing support, emails, cards and notes. You are ALL the very BEST!!

The END of Chemotherapy!

2009-01-27T21:09:00.003-07:00

Yesterday was my LAST chemotherapy treatment! 20 weeks/5 months. I am celebrating with a horseback riding trip in Mexico’s Sierra Madres. When I come home on February 8, I then get ready for 6 weeks of radiation. But it couldn’t be worse than the last 5 months (which, in fact, wasn’t as bad as everyone told me it would be).

As you know, I was in a clinical trial. In addition to taking the chemotherapy drugs, 80% of all trial participants got a drug called Avastin, and 20% got a placebo (saline solution). It is hoped that adding Avastin to standard chemotherapy will result in reducing the risk of recurrence of breast cancer (called disease-free survival).

I found out last Thursday that I was in the 20% placebo group. RATS. Or, maybe not. Time will tell.

On to the rest of my life, and more normalcy. I will keep you posted how the radiation is progressing. In the meantime, I am skiing with my AdventureWomen Downhill Ski group in Bozeman this week, and having a wonderful time with them. It’s great to be on the slopes and in the snow!

"Better" New Year to the Whole World!

2009-01-08T20:15:00.012-07:00

My mother, Eleanor Pasimeni, died on New Year's Eve. She was 88 years old. She had a zest for learning and adventure, and with my dad, they loved to travel in their motor home across the country. In the photos above, mom came with me on one of my original hiking trips in the English Cotswolds (she loved to hike and was always very active, until Parkinson's disease took its toll). The photo on the right was taken last Spring in Salt Lake City, where she was still "hiking," but with a walker. She was feisty until the end, and will be missed by all her children and grandchildren.

I hope that 2009 will be a "Better" year for the entire world. I have only 3 more chemotherapy treatments to go, and the last one will be on January 26. Yahoo! The best thing now is that I actually have peach fuzz-like hair growing on my head. It's the start of something new!!

Christmas in Belize

2008-12-24T20:41:00.012-07:00

Photo on Left: Susan has started her own Chinese Massage Clinic in San Pedro, Ambergris Caye, and decides not to return to chemotherapy in Montana.

Middle Photo: Rebecca is waiting for Susan to finish giving a Chinese massage before entering the Palapa Bar...home of the strongest drinks on the island. Thank goodness Susan is getting Chemo (i.e., only having one drink) and was able to drive the golf cart (yes, golf cart) back to Victoria House.

Photo on Right: The BEST Key Lime pie on Ambergris...Notice how Susan's stylish scarf matches the mint leaves on the pie.

Photos left to right: Susan at the beach; the pool at Victoria House; Rebecca driving a golf cart, the island's mode of transportation.

2008-12-12T12:33:00.020-07:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

From left to right, the cast of characters:

Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer (AKA Konya)
Gelding Reindeer (AKA Darri)
Santa (AKA Susan)
Mare Reindeer (AKA List)
The Grinch (AKA Kalawa)

(To be sung to the tune of
“All I Want for Christmas is My 2 Front Teeth….” )

All I want for Christmas is my eyebrows full,
My hair to grow, and my toenails back.

All I want for Christmas is my cancer cells,
To don their bells, and to flee to Hell.

All I want for Christmas is to thank my docs,
The nurses too, and my porto-cath.

Thanks to all for singing cards and emails too,
Support and prayers and funny gifts from you!

My family, friends and everyone who keeps in touch,
I love you much, oh I love you much!

More Than Halfway... !

2008-11-30T12:23:00.004-07:00

I hope that everyone had a delicious and meaningful Thanksgiving holiday. I missed going to Salt Lake City to spend time with my family, but I just needed to be HOME right now. I had a wonderful meal and gathering with some of my neighbors and their family members, and the food tasted terrific. I haven't eaten that much in a long time, but my appetite is back with the last of the chemo drugs, paclitaxel.

I have my 12th week of chemo tomorrow, and then it's 8 weeks to go. Have been buying more beautiful scarves, because it looks like my hair is NOT going to grow back any time soon. Guess I will be going to Belize over Christmas (Dec. 20-28) with lots of heavy duty sun screen! Can't wait! The doctors are working my treatments around this vacation and break!

Some of the side effects of the first round of chemo are manifesting now (more purple toenails and weird ridges in my fingernails), and then I have some new ones from this round (bone pain, red and watery eyes, and a runny nose). But I think that having acupuncture once a week helps my energy levels and keeps me more grounded.

Although I haven't ridden my horses in a few weeks due to slippery snow and ice on the roads, I will begin riding them again once they get their winter shoes put on this week. They get "studded" shoes for the winter, so they have good traction on snow and ice. And after all, they ARE from Iceland, and they love going out in the snow and cold. I do too! They have big furry coats now, and it's great fun to ride in the snow.

Thank you to everyone for all of your support, cards, emails, surprise packages, positive thoughts, and prayers. And to my friends here in Montana who bring me soup, meals, and take turns driving me to chemo treatments. You are all incredible.

Sayings On My Refrigerator Door....

2008-11-16T13:13:00.007-07:00

This morning I was standing in front of my refrigerator, looking at all the family pictures, magnets, and assorted sayings that have accumulated there over the past dozen years. A few of the sayings jumped out at me, and I realized that there's always something to learn, even from your refrigerator door...

"I WANT IT ALL, AND I WANT IT DELIVERED"
This is definitely wishful thinking. I had no idea that this would NOT be an option when I moved to the mountains of Montana. NO ONE delivers here. Not even the local florists in town. But I can still hold out hope, that maybe someday...Chinese food, pizza...laundry ?

"DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF"
Hmmmm. How very true. However, last year my kitty, Kalawa, almost died of kidney disease, and I acted as HER staff for awhile! But she has rebounded, and has repaid me over and over again during my rounds of chemo, with her generous affection and her new penchant for sticking closer to me than ever (like sleeping on my stomach each night, with her paw resting on my arm)... .

"EVERYTHING WILL BE OK IN THE END. IF IT'S NOT OK, IT'S NOT THE END"
Now THIS is a really good perspective for my life at the moment, and for all of us, for all time, eh? Each week gets better as I get closer to "the end." As of tomorrow, I am at the half way point for chemo. 10 weeks down, and 10 to go. I think that knowing I am half-way, might even be better than the end!

Day After New Chemo - 9 Weeks Down, 11 To Go

2008-11-11T16:23:00.014-07:00

Yesterday I began 12 weeks of the chemotherapy drug paclitaxel. Not supposed to be as bad as the last 8 week round of adriamycin-cytoxin chemotherapy. We'll see.....

By the end of the past 8 weeks, I had sores in my mouth, my fingers are peeling, and my fingernails are turning a weird color. With paclitaxel, my toenails might fall off, and there are other assorted side effects that may or may not happen. But what the heck, having malaria in Africa while a Peace Corps volunteer was worse, and I've lost my toenails many times on various treks I have been on (i.e.the trek coming down from Annapurna Base Camp in Nepal at 16,000 feet, and carrying heavy packs in the Grand Tetons, for just a few examples).

Some say that my hair will begin to grow back now, and others say it won't. But I have grown fond of my hats and scarves, and I don't think I will EVER wear the wig that I initially bought. It makes me look like a 1950s housewife (not that there's anything wrong with that....)! It's pretty funny, actually. I'd rather be bald!

2008-11-03T20:17:00.000-07:00

Finished with the First 8 Weeks!

2008-11-03T20:08:00.002-07:00

HOORAY! I am done with the worst (so I have heard...) of my chemo - the AC poison stuff that ran for 8 weeks and 4 treatments. Now I go on to 12 weeks, once per week, of paclitaxel (taxol). When I read about the side effects of these drugs, I want to run the other direction. It just seems so barbaric that we still know so little about cancer that we have to put our bodies through this nauseating journey! Don't worry, I am still positive about it all, but tonight I needed to vent.

This Wednesday I have an echocardiogram, then next Monday I begin the paclitaxel treatments.

The photo above is how I keep my perspective, by riding over the weekends when the weather permits. My good friend from Chicago, Evelyn Ebbert, came out last week to get me through Treatment #4 (thanks, Ebbie!) and took pictures of me and 2 friends heading out for a Saturday afternoon ride. My dog Konya was the "scout," of course!

Happy Halloween from Susan and Konya!

2008-10-22T19:07:00.002-06:00

In Between Cycles 3 and 4

2008-10-21T15:02:00.004-06:00

Today it is snowing again here in Montana! Seems like the last snow (about 2 feet) just melted. When I went riding this weekend with friends it was muddy and gooey, but fun anyway. My dog, Konya, loves it too, and was a mudball by the end of it!

I am in between my 3rd and 4th chemo cycles, with the 4th cycle (Monday, Oct. 27) being the last of these heavy-duty ones (adriamycin and cytoxan). I am still doing well with these (not getting sick), but by days 3-5 after treatment, I am pretty wiped out and tired. Seems to get more intense as the treatments progress. By the second week after treatment, I am feeling really good, until I hit the next week and we begin all over again.

So, I am looking forward to being DONE with the 4th cycle, and getting on to the next chemo drug, paclitaxel. This will be every week, for 12 weeks. It's not supposed to be as bad as the A-C.

I'll be posting some Halloween pictures soon. As many of you know, it's my favorite holiday... .

Alpine Glow Morning - Cycle 3

2008-10-13T13:33:00.004-06:00

Here are the Bridger Mountains as Susan and I left her house at 7:30 AM for her 3rd cycle of pink kool-aid and other yummy chemicals. We've had well over a foot of snow here, which made the drive to Livingston even more exciting.

Now it is 2 PM...lots of time waiting for the "pre-meds" to drip in, since the nurse forgot to open up the IV line, while I was out getting breakfast sandwiches and apples for our long day here...I should know better than to leave while something important may be done. But now the sun is shining, and we will be headed home for some ravioli and salad soon. And some rest for Susan.

So Who Is Rocky?

2008-10-09T12:29:00.001-06:00

Okay, fess up. Who is Rocky? Must be someone from my Madagascar trip, because I don't know anyone else who would have a lemur picture!!

20 Days After Ist Chemo

2008-10-07T09:03:00.002-06:00

As you can see below, my hair came off yesterday because 20 days after my intial chemotherapy treatment, it started falling out. So my wonderful hairstylist, Joe Grooms, did the deed and took it all off. We first had fun seeing what I would look like in a Mohawk, but decided that it ALL needed to come off... Thanks to Donna Allison for taking the photos and keeping me laughing. Scarves and hats will be my frequent outfits the next few months! (PS - Not having hair isn't as bad as I had anticipated, and it gave me an excuse to have some beautiful new earrings made!)

Susan's Haircut

2008-10-07T08:15:00.002-06:00

Hey you all,

Susan took the proverbial bull by the horns and got her head shaved yesterday. Here is a patchwork quilt of the process, put together by Susan, who is becoming quite the PhotoShop wiz.

What you don't hear about in terms of losing your hair with chemo, is that it hurts! Your scalp can become painful as the hair follicles die. I can't help but think what a cruel trick...maybe there is a reason no one talks about it???

Here is the beauty. Doesn't she look great, though? You can say she is doin' it in style, n'est pas? And that is the truth about Susan; never one to pass up a moment like this.

Day 3 After Second Chemo Treatment

2008-10-01T16:53:00.002-06:00

This blog is getting boring, because my chemotherapy treatments have been going so well. But my second one this past Monday had a little excitement... .

During chemo on Monday I drank tons of water. In fact, I drank so much water that I started getting irregular heartbeats and my pulse was very low all through the evening. After calling the Doctor, he told me that I drank too much water and depleted my electrolytes. In addition to water, I should have also been drinking Gatorade or a similar product, G2, which has less sugar.

So today I am feeling a lot better, but tired. Once I took my 3rd anti-nausea pill this morning, a nap was in order. Thank goodness I have Lori in the office!

Cycle 2 on a Gorgeous Fall Day!

2008-09-29T12:38:00.003-06:00

Here is Susan with her AWESOME nurse, Casey (who drives all the way up from Gardiner, Montana to work at Livingston Memorial Hospital - a 50 mile one way drive!) Casey is giving Susan pink Kool-Aid (disguised as Adriamycin) as an IV push...this is to match Susan's pink shirt and her new pink iPod. (Photo below)

And, today, September 29, 2008, is a gorgeous fall day! It is supposed to get to 81 degrees in Montana this afternoon. Leaves are turning, and we have been able to enjoy the colors for over a week, which is a Montana record. (Normally, we would have had a wind, rain or snow storm to blow all those pretty leaves off.)

Besides that, Susan thanks everybody for all the GREAT support. Your cards, email, letters, notes, etc. are so helpful, meaningful, and appreciated. SO THANKS EVERYBODY!

Susan and her OTHER Icelandic horse, List.

2008-09-24T23:05:00.002-06:00

Why Am I in a Clinical Trial?

2008-09-24T22:47:00.009-06:00

I was asked to participate in this particular Clinical Trial because I have breast cancer that has been surgically removed (lumpectomy), but has features that past research has found could indicate a significant risk of recurrence. Cancer was found in 5 out of 6 of my sentinal nodes, but there was no cancer found in 13 lymph nodes that were taken out in a subsequent surgery.

The purpose of this study is to determine if addition of a medication by the name of bevacizumab (Avastin) to the current standard chemotherapy of cancer-reducing medications, namely doxorubicin, cyclophosphamide, and paclitaxel, reduces the risk of recurrence (called disease-free survival) compared to standard chemotherapy alone.Bevacizumab (Avastin) has been approved by the FDA for use in the chemotherapy treatment of patients with colorectal cancer, and it has shown an improved outcome for those patients using this drug. Although this drug has also been studied in metastatic breast cancer clinical trials and has shown improved results in patients whose breast cancer recurred, it is hoped that using this medication earlier in the treatment of the disease may lead to better outcomes for this group of patients.

About 4,950 people will take part in this study. All patients will receive the same chemotherapy drugs. However, 20% of all patients will receive a placebo instead of the Avastin, and 80% will receive Avastin. All patients and physicians are "blinded," and we will only be told what group we were in at the end of 20 weeks of chemotherapy.

Why am I doing this? So far, I have played a VERY active role in my cancer care, and that has felt really good. I have picked out my own doctors, and the cancer center where I have my primary care (Huntsman Cancer Institute in Salt Lake City). My doctors in Salt Lake City are working with the doctors at Billings Clinic, here in Montana, because it is closer to home for me, and because Billings is doing the same clinical trial that is also in Salt Lake. All of my fabulous doctors encouraged me to be part of this trial, and after discussing it with everyone, I decided that it is a great way to gain access to new research before it is widely available, I am getting expert medical care, and I am hopefully helping others by contributing to medical research. Now that's pretty exciting!

My next chemotherapy treatment is Monday, September 29. More later.....

Happy Autumnal Equinox!

2008-09-21T08:34:00.004-06:00

Day 5 after first chemo treatment, and I am feeling like going horseback riding! So far, so good. Had macaroni and cheese for dinner last night and it was the cure to the chemo drag of day 4. Thank you to everyone for my birthday wishes!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SUSAN

2008-09-19T07:15:00.001-06:00

Still wonder woman after all these years!

September 17, 2008 - First Day of Chemo

2008-09-19T07:15:00.000-06:00

Here is a photo of Susan waiting in a small room for her chemo drugs to arrive by courier from Billings. She is part of a clinical trial and does not really know if she will be getting the drug of choice being studied, which is Avastin. (80% chance of her getting it, though. But since there was only a 15% chance of those funny microscopic spots on her mammogram last year being cancer, and only a 25% chance that the abnormality on her breast MRI was cancer...that probably means there is a 100% chance that she will be randomized to the 20% arm of the trial that doesn't really get the drug. Got that?)

This is actually a photo of Susan immediately after she received radioactive glucose and just prior to her PET scan. And guess what??? PET has nothing to do with Konya, Kalawa, List, Darri, Bodhi or Milou.... Don't worry, as you can see from the first photo the radioactive shading disappeared after a few days.

Here is a bit of election campaigning that we are doing in the Livingston Hospital. We actually paid to have this run on closed circuit TV to the ICU...

All-in-all it was an uneventful day. Susan had little or no side effects from the chemo!